ELVANPYRES

ELVANPYRES – THE BURNING ELVES

A Battle between ELF VAMPIRES and HUMAN VAMPIRES for the Heart of Darkness

 Does Odin LOOK like a BITCH?
Then why the Elves try to FUCK him like one?

During the Saturnalia Celebration (December 17-23) in the late 10^th century, ODIN discovers the Elves having sex in his “Sacred Shrubbery”.

LOKI convinces Odin to prank the Elves using a disgraced CTHULU High Priest as an intermediary. 

In the ensuing PRANK WAR between LOKI and the ELVES, things get out of hand when a FORBIDDEN Magic Amplifier (the GOLDEN ORANGE built by RALF the Elf) is stolen and used by the Elves to play pranks against Odin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rude-Elf doesn’t understand how the Magic Amplifier works and he turns the power setting up too high, accidentally plunging all the gods Sky Cities into the                                                 BODENSEE (Lake Constance in the Alps).

 

With all the gods pissed at the Elves,  Odin commands the  Ex-High Priest of Cthulu to punish the Elves by placing the VAMPIRE CURSE on them.
96 – No Hitting Below the Belt
This turns the Elves into ELVANPYRES (“Burning Elves”, because when direct sunlight strikes them –
THEY BURN!)
97 – You Lost All Your Midgard Privileges

 

To prevent the Vampire Curse from infecting the Elf homeworld (Alfheim), the Elves seal the portals between Alfheim and Midgard, TRAPPING MANY ELVES in the human world of 1000 AD.
99 – No Elf Child Left Behind
The TRAPPED ELVES journey to ALF-RIDGE, the ancient Elf town hidden in the Alps mountain range.

At a meeting in the GREAT LIBRARY OF OCCULTUS MAGIC (GLoOM) they decide to FORCE the gods to REVOKE THE VAMPIRE CURSE by creating an unstoppable plague of HUMAN VAMPIRES.
103 – Vampires Vs. Hunters

 

The first part of the plan works as the Human Vampires grow at an EXPONENTIAL RATE.

However when the gods still don’t revoke the Vampire Curse the Elves decide they need another method of ending it.

But the Vampires are eavesdropping on the Elves and realize IF THE ELVES END THE VAMPIRE CURSE, the Human Vampires WILL LOSE THEIR IMMORTALITY.

The Vampires cut a deal with PRIME WITCH VIOLET to help them kill all the Elves in exchange for the Library of Magic.

The Elves may have superior powers for now, but the Vampires are quick learners.
Besides the Human Vampires have access to unlimited replacements while every Elf death brings the Vampires a little bit closer to their goal of RULING THE NIGHT by EXTERMINATING THE ELVANPYRES!

 

Desperate to stop the curse he started, Odin releases RALF the ELF, giving him the “Wanderers Outfit” to protect him from sunlight and instructing him to END THE VAMPIRE CURSE.

Odin loses hope, but Loki reminds him that the missing High Priestess of Cthulu can also end the curse . . .

and Chapter #2 is all about her

THE BEST PLACE TO START READING THIS COMIC IS NOT THE BEGINNING

Since I’m not a classically trained cartoonist,  developing my cartooning skills took a lot of practice and pages.      So if you want to avoid the bad art of my initial learning curve,

I RECOMMEND ONE OF THESE STARTING PLACES:

93 – FLAMES OF THE ELVANPYRES
The Elvanpyre Curse gets placed on the Elves

101 – THE GATHERING STORM
The Elves arrive at Alf-Ridge

110 - AT THE GATES OF DEATH
The Elves create the first two Human Vampires

You should be able to pick up the story without knowing the details of the prank war that resulted in the Elvanpyre curse.

The only thing you really need to know is that RALF THE ELF was responsible for starting the whole chain of events, and that the HIGH PRIESTESS OF CTHULU is is seriously irate about being changed into an ELVANPYRE and will be coming after RALF for VENGEANCE!

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There are still plenty of jokes in the early more poorly drawn cartoons. So if you’re bored, you know where you can kill some time.  My favorites are Fenrir the wolf looking for “a hand out” (#33) and the The Ms-Judgment of Paris (#88)

HUMOR VERSUS DRAMA

I want the story to achieve a balance between humor and drama, but for now my main effort is putting in lots of jokes.
When the Elves and Vampires start killing each other the story will develop a more serious tone.
And for you  fans of BIG FIGHT scenes, well you’ll have to be patient.
I have lots of fights planned, but since I need to be a better cartoonist in order to make them look good those comics are still many pages in the future.
Hopefully in the near future I can get some practice drawing smaller fights.

FANSERVICE will be inserted where feasible.

 

HUMOR – POP CULTURE REFERENCES (SHOUT-OUTS)

The comic make lots of pop culture references, here are some examples:

When the Elves shoo the ghosts out of the library, they use a wand shaped like Pac-man.
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When Odin drives most of the Elves out of Midgard (our world) he makes a “Pulp Fiction” Marsellus Wallace “You lost all your LA privileges” speech and has a band-aid on the back of his neck.
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When Ralf is a prisoner aboard Odins Sky ship, the panel looks like the interior of Jabba the Hutt’s Sail Barge and Ralf is in a “Slave Princess Leia” pose.
Some of these parodies are well done, others are, um, not so well done. I’m LEARNING dammit! Some are very obvious, while others you may not notice either because you don’t know the original material or because I was sly about how I snuck it into the comic.
There is a fairly complete list (OVER 50!) on the “SHOUT-OUTS” Page.

You can also ask me questions using the comment feature.

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STORY SYNOPSIS
Here is a more detailed story synopsis for Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1 – “GötterDummeUnfug” The God’s Foolish Prank
The first part of the story takes place as the Sky Cities of the various pantheons gather over the BODENSEE (Lake Constance in the Alps) to celebrate the Saturnalia (December 17-23) in the late 10^th century.

The protagonist,of the story is RALF the Elf. His True Elvan name (Which is revealed later in the story) is Ur-Alf, meaning “Thoroughly Elf”. He is the apprentice of the possibly insane, definitely drunk Sorcerer RAY THEOPLANT. A House Sphinx named Lady Frisque (pronounced “Frisk-Kay”) has recently joined the household.
7 - This is Ralf

In order to go party with his friends at the Saturnalia, RALF finishes his work on the magic amplifier which is called “THE GOLDEN ORANGE”
18 - Activating the Golden Orange

To celebrate the Saturnalia the gods have set up “Shrines”, that advertise their greatness. Since the Elves never show respect, the gods have put their crappiest “Shrines” in the Elf City.
29 - Pissidon is Pissed!

While visiting the Elf Sky City, Norse God King ODIN is enraged when he discovers Elves having sex in his sacred shrubbery.
32 - Odin is ENRAGED!

LOKI convinces ODIN to punish the Elves by playing pranks on them.
33 - The Prank War is Conceived

LOKI gets the Cthulid Sorcerer NOSFERKLAATU (pronounced sort of like Nosferatu except with a klaatu) to use his magic so the Elves can’t trace it back to ODIN/LOKI.
34 - The Arrival of Nozferklaatu

In order to increase his magic power for the prank war, RUDE-ELF tricks LADY FRISQUE (pronounced Frisk-kay) into giving him the GOLDEN ORANGE magic amplifier.
44 – Deploying the Magic Amplifier

LOKI gets the Wyvern (Flying Dragons) to crap all over the Elves. Thinking they’ve won the prank war, ODIN, LOKI and NOSFERKLAATU return to Odin’s Sky Ship.
51 – The Elves Happy Time is RUINED!

After the Elf Sky City descends to the lake to wash the shit off, RUDE-ELF and ALFIN disappear into the woods with the GOLDEN ORANGE
52 – Rude Elf wants PAYBACK!

RUDE-ELF decides to try scaring ODIN by making his Sky Ship drop part way to the lake. He turns the magic amplifier on full power and casts Luft-Hexen (Air-Magic) Snarl.
60 – Luft Hexen SNARL

The Elves panic as the GOLDEN ORANGE begins dropping all the Sky Cities into the lake, and they decide the only solution is to summon a “Great Old One”
64 – Crossing the Godzilla Threshold

The Great Old One PAN-GHOULIN declines to help. A peek into the future reveals that because of this decision ODIN is disappointed with him, and that CTHULU’s very vindictive High Priestess will someday (literally) kick his ass.
69 – Odin's Inquiry into Pan-Ghoulins Role

The Sky Cities continue to fall. Sorcerer RAY THEOPLANT goes down with the Sorcerer city. His final words are cut off by the crash.
74 – It's Our Turn Now!

As the LuftSchloss plummets toward the lake LADY FRISQUE saves RALF.
75 – You'll have to Try!

 ALFIN smashes the GOLDEN ORANGE, causing it to respawn at an unknown location. RUDE-ELF runs off into the woods while ALFIN returns to the Elf City where he meets up with RALF.
78 – The Golden Orange is Destroyed?

 After finding proof of the Elves guilt, the “Wisdom Gods” (ODIN, ATHENA, THOTH, and GANESHA) decide the Elves must be punished.

89 – Always Deal Fairly with the Fair Folk

ODIN decides to drive the Elves out of Midgard (Earth) by placing a Vampire curse (FLAMES OF THE ELVAN PYRES) on them.

 93 – FLAMES OF THE ELVANPYRES

ODIN also takes RALF as his personal prisoner.

97 – You Lost All Your Midgard Privileges

 To avoid becoming Vampires, most of the Elves flee back to Alfheim (the Elf home world). Any Elves that become vampires cannot be allowed to bring the curse back to Alfheim, so the Fairy Ring Portals are sealed. GRAND-ALF is thankful that there are currently no Elf children because they would have been immediately turned into Vampires and the Elves would have no choice but to leave them behind in Midgard.

99 – No Elf Child Left Behind

In an effort to lift the curse, the Elvan scholars GRAND-ALF, WEST-LEY and G’STAR (pronounced Gester – she’s a bard of romantic gests) decide to remain in Midgard and become Elf Vampires.

100 – To ALF-RIDGE

They go to the GREAT LIBRARY OF OCCULTUS MAGIC (GLoOM) at ALFRIDGE, where they meet with SNO-LOKS, who believes he can end the curse by creating Human Vampires.

104– The Elvanpyres Strike Back

They create the first pair of the Human Vampires ELITA and FRIEND HEIN.

111 – VAMPIRUS!

 

The Human Vampires grow in number but the Vampire curse remains in place.

The Elf Scholars decide to do research in the Library to try and find another way to end the curse.

The Human Vampires overhear the Elves. The Vampires realize that they will lose their new found immortality if the Elves succeed in lifting the Vampire curse.

The Vampires conspire with PRIME WITCH VIOLET to kill the Elf Scholars.

ZEUS informs ODIN the Human Vampires have been confirmed, and that all the other gods are leaving the world of Midgard until ODIN cleans up his mess.

ODIN releases RALF to go lift the Vampire curse by destroying the GOLDEN ORANGE.

ODIN tells LOKI “That boy is our last hope.” LOKI replies “No. There is another . . .”